Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons

Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons

While it is difficult to make sweeping statements about such a large and diverse group as adopted persons, adopted persons generally lead lives that are no different from the lives of not adopted persons; however, they have experiences that are unique to being adopted, and these experiences may have an impact on their lives at various times. There are several themes that emerge from personal accounts and data from academic studies about issues that adopted persons may face. This factsheet addresses these themes, which include loss, the development of identity and self-esteem, interest in genetic information, and managing adoption issues.

Loss and Grief:

The loss of birth parents as a result of adoption may set the stage for feelings of grief for many adopted persons. The loss experienced by adopted persons may be characterized as ambiguous loss, or the loss of someone who still is alive .This type of loss also may increase the feelings of uncertainty e.g., “Do I resemble my biological parents?” an adopted person feels. Adopted persons who feel secure in their adoption and have open adoptive family communication may be better able to manage their uncertainty and grief. Additionally, adopted persons may have difficulty finding an outlet because their grief may not be recognized by others. Feelings of loss and grief, as well as anger, anxiety, or fear, may especially occur during emotionally charged milestones, such as marriage, the birth of a child, or the death of a parent. Adopted persons may also suffer secondary losses. For instance, along with the loss of their birth mother and birth father, adopted persons may experience the loss of brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. There also may be a loss of cultural connection or language. For those who were adopted as older children, there may be a loss of friends, foster families, pets, schools, neighborhoods, and familiar surroundings.

Identity Development:

Identity formation begins in childhood and takes on increased importance and prominence during adolescence. Adoption is a significant aspect of identity for adopted persons, even when they are adults. The task of identity development may be more difficult for an adopted person because of the additional issues related to adoption, such as why he or she was placed for adoption, what happened to the birth parents, does he or she have siblings, and whether he or she resembles the birth parents in looks or in other characteristics. Adoption remains an important aspect of identity throughout adulthood.

Self-Esteem:  

Often accompanying these issues of identity are issues of self-esteem—that is, how the adopted person feels about himself or herself. A number of studies have found that, while adopted persons are similar to not adopted persons in most ways, they often score lower on measures of self-esteem and self-confidence. This result may reflect the fact that some adopted persons may view themselves as different, out-of-place, unwelcome, or rejected. Some of these feelings may result from the initial loss of birth parents and from growing up away from birth parents, siblings, and extended family members. They also may be caused by an ongoing feeling of being different from not adopted people who know about their genetic background and birth family and who may be more secure about their own identity as a result. Additionally, some adopted persons report that secrecy surrounding their adoption contributes to low self-esteem.

Thinking about the Adoption:

The amount and degree of thought an adopted person devotes to his or her adoption may change over time and may vary based on each person’s circumstances. For example, the birth of a child to an adopted person, which may be the first experience with a biological family member, may cause the adopted person to revisit earlier issues of identity. The new parent may also be prompted to think about what his or her birth mother experienced in giving birth and what the birth mother and father may have experienced in making the adoption placement decision. Adopted adults who become new parents may be sympathetic to the difficulties of their birth parents, or they may wonder how their birth parents could ever have placed them for adoption. In a study of adopted adolescents’ thinking about adoption, 13 percent never thought about adoption, 54 percent thought about their adoption once a month or more, and 27 percent thought about their adoption once a week or more, with males thinking about their adoption more frequently than females. Adolescents in closed adoptions were no more likely to have increased frequency of thought about their adoption than those in open adoptions.